Since creating this blog, I have graduated college, gotten into and chosen a graduate program (PsyD in School Psychology at Alfred University!), mourned "Black Friday" (the demise of online poker in the US... may you return soon), visited Las Vegas (woop!), and began to lose my mind as I look at two months of nothing and a seemingly endless live poker downswing (starting a few weeks after online poker was assassinated by the Department of Justice)
Losing for a long period time is probably the hardest thing to mentally endure as a poker player, given the nature of the game and how one must constantly re-evaluate and stay critical, yet emotionless when making objective hand-by-hand decisions. Further, the element of chance of the game can tool with one's head, forcing them to doubt their abilities as a player (no matter how + or -EV they are) and be quite aggravating.
And here is where I find myself: at a crossroads between a mega-downswing that ceases to point upward no matter how much self-evaluation I put myself through and an empty summer that ominously stares blankly at me through the window of iCal (minus JURY DUTY July 18th! Ship it!), beckoning me to play through the swing, regardless of bankroll woes and coolers and... blows (?).
It has forced me to take a look at the big picture: I still desire to play, I have a program lined up to pursue a career I will value, and the luck is just part of it...
For the sake of my sanity, I am doing my best to take control of what I can: cooking and eating well (and right), staying active (and sleeping well), staying social, and anticipating the next day... Can't control the cards dealt to me, only how I play them.
...I will try and spare this blog from awful poker cliches about life... bear with me.
To close my first post, I've made a realization that this whole "taking control" bit is similar to my future career: many kids struggle due to their home situations, the actions and behaviors of their parents and family members, or simply genetics... all things that they had little to no control over... just the life they were born into. Yet I will have the opportunity to put them into the situations and give them access to the resources they need in order to succeed and carry out fulfilling, happy lives.
Pretty awesome!
Happy July
